3. spend the night
Sleep is a funny thing. When I’ve been at my worst in life, it is something I want lots of and cannot seem to get hold of. In fact, often the more I want it, the harder it is to come by. It is also orientated around very specific states of being. When I sleep during the day it feels fucking luxurious. I listen to audiobooks or television to go to sleep, so often my evening is quite blended into my sleeping - I almost don’t notice the process of falling asleep. I find it very hard to decide to sleep, I really have to fall asleep. When I wake up in the middle of the night I’m actually very attentive - for instance if I need to go to the toilet I never turn the lights on because I cannot bear the harsh lights, instead I do a clumsy (but often successful) journey through my apartment in the night - my proprioception kicks in beautifully. When I wake up in the morning, I find it very difficult to function for a bit - my eyes don’t really want to open and I have the sensation that my feet a...